What to Do When Someone Doesn’t Like You
When someone tells me, “I don’t care if people like me,” they are showing me the emotional wall they use to block the hurt of rejection.
As humans are social animals, all of us care if people like us. Based on the need for social connection, your reactions to rejection and negative judgment can range from minor hurt to breakouts of depression. 1
The first step to handle a negative situation is to recognize your reaction. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling?” 2 Any betrayals(背叛) or embarrassments in your heart? Identify what feeling has shown up in your body. So you can choose what to do next.
3 When you sense yourself shutting down or feeling defensive, ask yourself what the person actually meant to do to you. Did they truly mean to offend you, or make fun of you? Your brain works very hard to keep you safe, so it will judge a situation as threatening if there is any possibility of social harm.
When our brains sense a possible threat, we react as if we were personally attacked. Take a breath to relieve the stress. 4
Finally, if you believe the person doesn’t like you, ask yourself if this matters. 5 If not, what can you do to release your need to be liked by this person? And, what can you do to stay neutral and not return the dislike? The more you can come to accept others as who they are, the more you can move forward with your goals regardless of if someone likes you or not.
A.If you can, look the person in their eyes.
B.Do you feel any fear or anger in your head?
C.Ask yourself what is true about the situation.
D.Often people do not realize the impact of their words.
E.Will the person’s judgment of you impact your work or life?
F.The ability to let a show of dislike roll off your back is a learned skill.
G.This will ground you for the present and take you out of your trembling mind.
答案
[语篇解读] 当别人不喜欢你的时候该怎么办?本文就这个问题提出了几点建议。
1.F 根据上句“基于对社会交往的需要,你对拒绝和消极判断的反应可以从轻微的伤害到抑郁的爆发。”可知,不要让表现出的不喜欢的行为影响你的能力是一种有学问的技能。故选F。
2.B 根据上文:问自己,“我的感觉是怎样的?” 再根据空格下句:你心中感到什么背叛或尴尬吗?可知,B项起承接作用,故选B。
3.C 根据下文:当你感觉自己被关闭或感到自我防卫时,问问你自己,这个人到底想对你做什么,他们是真的想冒犯你或取笑你吗?可知,问问你自己什么是真实的情况。故选C。
4.G 根据上文:当我们的大脑察觉到可能的威胁时,我们的反应就好像是我们受到了人身攻击一样。深呼吸来缓解压力。可知,这将在当下给你支撑,把你从颤抖的头脑中带出来。故选G。
5.E 根据上句:最后,如果你相信这个人不喜欢你,问问你自己这是否重要。再根据空格下句:如果没有,你能做些什么来释放你被这个人喜欢的需要?由此可知,这个人对你的评价会影响你的工作或是生活吗?故选E。
